“Awards more fitting, I promise you, than the outrageous annual payments they gift themselves (do I smell a Muskrat or is that $56bn in ill-gotten gains?), or the made-much-of awards that are handed out like party favours amongst the One Per Cent. These poor little rich prats might have cornered the world’s resources, but have they got what they truly deserve? NO, but I’m not that bitch Karma, sadly, so I can’t deliver just desserts.

Yet, ask yourself, what do you give someone who has EVERYTHING? Here are six prizes so perfect for avaricious fat cats and ruthless despots that they’ve never even considered them…”

Read it in full here